FINALLY! I know it's not much, but I lost one POUND! I am soooo happy about that. I've been the same weight for 2 weeks now. I've been working my butt off and stupidly have not been eating all my points. Last weekend I corrected that and started following the plan as directed. I've cut back to working out 5 days a week. Today I was down a pound. To me, that's a lot.

It symbolizes to me that my plateau is over. As long as I stay on track, I should start losing again. I feel great.

Lately I've been thinking about maintenance and it scares the sh*t out of me. I read so many blogs where the people have gained some or all the weight back after losing it. My WW leader says to just deal with the fact that this is a life long thing. I have it in my mind that when my "diet" is over, I can relax and "just" maintain. Haha. How stupid is that? I need to come up with a plan eventually on how I'm going to do that.

I am going to hit my goal by the end of the year. It will happen. I don't want to sabotage my efforts because I'm afraid I won't be able to maintain my weight, so I need to come up with something. I just have a really hard time thinking that I'm going to have to do this the rest of my life. Does that mean it will constantly be on my mind for the rest of my life? When is it going to come more naturally to me and possibly easier? Will that ever happen or will it be a constant struggle? Frankly, I don't want to struggle the rest of my life. I can deal with the fact that I need to make healthier choices and I can never go back to how I used to eat. What I can't deal with is thinking that I will be 80 years old, sitting in my rocker thinking about brownies I can't have or pizza I can't eat. Will I ever just be able to relax and not dwell on my weight or the food I'm eating? I sure hope so.