I survived Thanksgiving, but just barely. I feel sick today. I ate too much "bad" food. I drank too much alcohol. My body is not used to being so unhealthy and after a few days of eating and drinking "bad" things, I'm feeling the affects today. I really hope I do better over Christmas. I had my family in from out of town so I have much more food in the house than I'd normally have. I won't have that problem during Christmas so I should be able to control things a bit more.

Today I just feel like sitting around and doing nothing. I will be back on track tomorrow, but for today, I'm just chilling out and doing nothing. I'm trying to force myself to work out, but I just don't have it in me today. I will be able to work out everyday this week though so it won't kill me to take today off.

I just had pizza again for dinner but this time was a whole different experience than late time.

Last weekend I decided to wipe the slate clean and start over. I sat down and wrote out menus and shopping lists for the week. I wrote out 3 goals:

1- Drink at least 8-8oz glasses of water a day

2- Track everything I eat even if I do go over my points

3- Work out at least 5 times

I weighed in last Sunday at 215. I haven't been that high in a while. I started the week off great. I did everything I was supposed to do. My daughter was just getting over the flu so I didn't want to take her to the gym. I worked out 5 times at home. Sometimes I did work out DVD's and other times I just walked on my treadmill. I stuck to my meal plan and felt great all week.

I think the most important change was I decided not to weigh myself everyday. It just wasn't working for me. I decided that this week I'd weigh in at WW on Wednesday night and then not weigh myself at home until Saturday, which was today. It was killing me, but I did it.

I got up this morning a little scared to get on the scale. But, I did it and the result was 210.5!! I lost 4.5 pounds this week! I was and am SO HAPPY.

The pizza was a planned meal using my 35 flex points. I am in no way saying f*ck it this time. I planned it out and happily ate every bite. I'm not going to weigh myself again until next Friday morning. Friday is my 10 year wedding anniversary and we are going out to dinner to celebrate so I didn't think it would be a good idea to weigh in on Saturday morning.

I feel really good and energized about the way I've been doing things this week. I've had 2 people tell me how great I look and today I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I tried on 2 pairs, one was a size 18 and the other was a size 16. (I thought i had grabbed 2 18's but one was actually a 16) The 16 fit better than the 18! I was shocked and thrilled. I feel really good about myself lately and I think that is helping immensely with my success. Next week will only be better and I will be firmly under 210 by Friday!!!!

I have rededicated myself to weight loss. I got off track somewhere along the lines and I needed to get back on track.

About 2 weeks ago I was at my Weight Watchers meeting and the leader asked a question about weight loss. The question was something like "What do you deserve when losing weight" and someone said "You deserve what you put into it" That really got me. I have been making a half assed attempt to lose weight for a while now. Why should it surprise me that my results are half assed? Seriously, do I want to spend the rest of my life losing weight? Shouldn't I just want to lose the weight and move on with my life and learn how to maintain my weight? How long am I going to be doing this to myself?

So, I've decided that November is going to be a big weight loss month for me. I'm not going to set any goal other than maintenance for December, but I still have three weeks before Thanksgiving gets here. I can certainly lose weight in that time. Thanksgiving is only one day, not a whole month. I do have family coming in from out of town, but I can still do it. I've done it now for 2 days. I've stayed within my points and I've worked out.

I've also made the decision not to weigh myself every day. I listen to a podcast and Scott always insists that weighing yourself everyday works. I don't agree. Especially last week. I was doing ok but I kept gaining and gaining each day. I finally thought "Screw it, nothing I'm doing is working" and I ate and continued to gain. I think there are too many factors in weight fluctuating each day to think that whatever number it says is accurate. I'm going to weigh myself once a week. When I get to maintenance mode I will reconsider a daily weigh in because you can do a lot of damage in a few days. If I see the scale creeping up I will know to scale back my food intake. But for now, I need to find what works for weight loss. Maybe this will be it.

Yesterday, November 1, my weight was 215. We'll see what it is this weekend. I'll keep you posted.