Friday, January 28, 2011

Bye Bye Weight Watchers

Maybe not forever, but goodbye for now. I'm done with Weight Watchers for the moment. 3 days ago I started counting calories and logging my food intake on Spark People. It's free and it makes sense.

Maybe it's because I do not go to the meetings, but this new program does not make sense to me. I feel like they either got it wrong with the "old" program or have it wrong with the new one. I know they are trying to get people to eat more fruits and vegetables, but it just wasn't working for me. In almost 4 weeks I lost 4 pounds. That is just unacceptable. In the 2 full days I've been counting calories, I've lost a pound. And I know some people may say that 4 pounds is great. At least it's a loss. However, I have 50 to lose. 4 pounds in a month isn't great. Especially at the beginning of a diet. I should have lost at least 6, hopefully 8 which is 2 lbs a week. I'm not looking for Biggest Loser numbers. I'm looking for a slow and steady 2 pounds a week, realizing that I will hit plateaus along the way.

I had this little voice inside of me telling me what I was doing wasn't working and to try something else. However, I was VERY hesitant to stop Weight Watchers. Why? Is change really so horrible? I know people get all excited about the diets that work for them and think they will work for everyone, but they don't. Plain and simple. If there was one diet that worked there wouldn't be thousands of diet books out there. Maybe it was the fact that I paid money to do Weight Watchers online. I don't know, but whatever it was, I finally took the leap and for now my WW books are in a drawer as well as the new Points Plus calculator that didn't work very well to begin with.

I'm optimistic that I will succeed with calorie counting. I have not given up and I will not give up until I reach my goal. Even if I have to try 10 more diets, I will succeed.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's over. I'm breaking up with you

You had to know this day was coming. I can't be on this emotional roller coaster any longer. It's not you, it's me.

I cannot wake up every day, take one look at you and let you ruin my day. I can't give you that much power any longer. I need to find other ways to validate my hard work. I don't need to see a number to tell me how I'm doing. I know how I'm doing. I keep hoping you're going to tell me a different story, but you can't do that. You are brutally honest with me. I appreciate that, but I can no longer take it on a daily basis.

I'm not giving up. Not me. I'm pressing on and finding new ways to check my progress. I'm going to try a measuring tape, or pay more attention to how my clothes fit. Anything but you. I'm finally realizing that a number shouldn't define my success. I know I'm doing the best I can and I've realized that I don't need you ruining that for me. I'm not letting you ruin one more minute of one more day!

I'll still stop in from time to time to check in with you. I will miss you dear scale, but not really....

Friday, January 21, 2011

I'm three weeks into the new Points Plus program and things are starting to look up. As of this morning I have lost 5 lbs. NOT what I'm used to when starting to diet (again.) I usually lose 5 lbs the first week, but I'll take it I guess.

I realized that I am not including any power foods in my meals. I have made and effort to add veggies and fruits to each meal. For instance, I would only eat a sandwich for lunch. Now I eat a sandwich and apple. Or I'd eat a breakfast sandwich for breakfast, now it's a banana and the sandwich. One big thing I've been doing is making mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes. I don't really think it's a substitute, but it will do. I've found that after I'm done eating I feel the same so why not cut the calories where I can.

I'm also trying to get used to the feeling of not being full. I never allow myself to get hungry if I can avoid it, but I also don't stuff myself anymore. It's really and adjustment. I'm used to being pretty full after meals and I don't feel that anymore. It's unsettling at times. I don't even really know how to put it into words but I'm getting used to it.

One other change I've made is giving it time between eating and going for seconds. My husband was pushing me to "finish eating" the other night so he could eat (we were taking turns with the baby) and I explained to him that I wanted to give my brain time to catch up with my stomach. I did end up eating just a little bit more later, but obviously I needed it.

I have not figured out the exercise thing yet. Sigh. I wish I could just do it, but I have a great excuse with having an infant. Speaking of which, she's crying so I've gotta go.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I am feeling more positive today. I'm back down to where I was last Friday at this time. I was told to give the new program 4 weeks. I'm 2 weeks in so what's another 2 weeks? I still don't know exactly what I did to gain 3 lbs last week. That's the frustrating part. Usually I can pinpoint something I ate and can justify a gain. But not this time.

I am also going to rethink how and when I'm eating my points. I'm one of those people who save the best thing for last. If there's something on my plate that I love, I will eat everything else and save that one thing for last. Sometimes it end up biting me because I'm too full to enjoy that last thing, but it's what I do. I tend to do the same thing with my points. I don't use those "extra" weekly points (49 now with the new program) and I save them all for the last day. Right now I get 34 points a day. 49 + 39 = 88 points. I can conceivably eat 88 points in one day on this plan. How can that be good? It can't.

From now on, I'm going to take part of those weekly points and have a treat mid week. Maybe a glass of wine, or a few cookies. I will deduct them from my weekly points and not save them for the end of the week. This really is going to be a challenge for me. I like to have those banked "just in case." At least that's what I tell myself. Just in case I "need" them. Well, when is that going to be? I am the one in control of my eating. I am the one who decides what I put into my mouth. Unless I know of a party coming up, when will I ever need an emergency 20 points?

One more thing I have come to realize this week is that I am using the baby as an excuse not to work out. There are plenty of women out there that have babies and work out. I have to figure out a way to do it and just do it. I'm not going to wake up one day and the baby will miraculously be on a wonderful schedule and I can work out at the same time each day. It's not going to happen. I will tell myself "The time to work out tomorrow is 2 pm" and that's the time I would work out. However, if the baby is screaming or something comes up and 2:30 rolls around, I will say "Oh well, I missed my time to work out" and I won't do it. How screwed up is that? I have to work on being more flexible. I have to be ready to work out whenever she falls asleep.

Lots of revelations this week, but most of all I think I've realized yet again that I am the one accountable for losing weight. I have to take charge and stop playing the victim. It took me years to get this weight and it's going to take time to get the weight off.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

New Points Plus program

Last week I would have written that the new plan is great and I love it. However, this week is a different story.

Last week I started drinking a TON of water each day. Not only for diet reasons but to up my milk production because I'm breast feeding. I have a feeling I was seeing success on the scale because of the increase in my water intake and not the Points Plus system.

I've been following the plan for a week and a half and as of today I have lost ZERO pounds. ZERO! Nada- nothing!!

I will start out by saying I am frustrated and angry today. This will probably be the tone of this blog. I'm sorry, but it's how I feel. I am angry because I have been following the plan to a T. I have been tracking all my food intake. I even had a "cheat" night last Friday, but it wasn't really cheating because I was still within my weekly points. I tend to save my weekly points for one night and then eat something I'm craving like pizza or Mexican food. Sometimes I go over, but I didn't on Friday. I have been drinking more water, but not working out.

I know I can lose weight with diet alone. I've done it before so I don't really think that I haven't lost because I haven't found time to exercise. There are some days I am weak and don't exercise and there are days when the baby is up a lot and I can't work it in my day. I can only do so much. I really just wanted to get the diet down pat, get into a groove with that and then I would really make working out a priority. I haven't been able to find success with this diet yet.

I am not giving up. I am going to pull out my books from the "old" plan and start following that. If that doesn't work, I will find what does work. I will not give up. I can't give up. I do not want diabetes. It is unfortunate that the new plan is not working for me. I might be doing something wrong. I don't know. What I do know is losing weight is hard enough by itself. Why WW felt like they had to make it even more difficult is beyond me. I still feel that they wanted money and revamped the system so everyone would buy the new materials. I hope I'm wrong.

Today is just not a good day. I feel like I've deprived myself for nothing and that makes me mad. I feel like I did my part and WW let me down. Tomorrow might be a different story. Tomorrow I might be down 3 lbs and gushing about how much I love WW. Today I'm just pissed off and ready to try something else.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy 2011

I almost wrote Happy 2010. I need to get used to the fact that another year has started. Being at home with an infant, my days tend to blend together. Adding on top of that hubby being home the last 9 days, it's even worse. He goes back to work tomorrow so life will go back to "normal" after that.

I have the day #1 of a diet feeling. You know that feeling. The "I'm kind of hungry but oh yeah I'm on a diet now and not pigging out every second of the day" feeling. I feel like that. Not necessarily hungry, but like I need to eat. It's going to take a few days to get rid of this feeling.

Today is day #1 of tracking everything I put into my mouth. I haven't figured out how and when to exercise yet, but I need to at least eat properly. I'm not using my extra breast feeding points. I'm not producing much milk and do not feel like I need the extra 11 points a day. If I were producing all the milk the baby needs, then I'd think about it, but I'm not. I've pumped. I know I'm not making much so I'm not going to use the points. Having said that, if I'm hungry and I don't have any points left, I'll eat. I don't think food is the issue. I don't think I'm drinking enough liquids. I forget that I need more water each day to make the milk and that's why I'm not making enough.

Today I've had plenty to drink. I'm stayed within my points and I still have about 7 to go. I'm planning on eating a WW strawberry short cake for dessert. If I need a snack later, I've got some apples. I'm still leery of the "new" WW plan. I had a banana for breakfast and it was zero points. If I have the apple later, it will also be zero points. It's so strange to me and I'm really hoping this works. I'll give it a week. If it doesn't work, I'll go back to the old plan which I know works. It just feels like a lot of work to recalculate points for things I knew the points of before. I hope there is some real technology/science that went into revamping the system and Florine Mark doesn't just want to make more money by making everyone buy all new materials.

I don't have a lot to say other that I feel like I'm back on track and in control. Day #1 is always an easy day. I'm motivated and ready to go. I'll check back on day 7 or 8 and update you on my progress. I'm hoping I'll have even more motivation. OH, and the Biggest Loser starts tomorrow. That always motivates me. Last time I was pregnant so I knew I couldn't do much, but not this time. This time I can lose weight right along with the contestants!

I want a good week or two of being healthy and then I'm going to really explore my addiction to sugar. The more I eat, the more I want. I know I need to do something about that, but I'm also smart enough not to start too much at one time. I'm tracking food and figuring out how to get a work out in. That's enough for a week or two. Once I have a handle on this again, I will work on that. One step at a time and before I know it I will be at my goal!! This is the year!