I am feeling more positive today. I'm back down to where I was last Friday at this time. I was told to give the new program 4 weeks. I'm 2 weeks in so what's another 2 weeks? I still don't know exactly what I did to gain 3 lbs last week. That's the frustrating part. Usually I can pinpoint something I ate and can justify a gain. But not this time.

I am also going to rethink how and when I'm eating my points. I'm one of those people who save the best thing for last. If there's something on my plate that I love, I will eat everything else and save that one thing for last. Sometimes it end up biting me because I'm too full to enjoy that last thing, but it's what I do. I tend to do the same thing with my points. I don't use those "extra" weekly points (49 now with the new program) and I save them all for the last day. Right now I get 34 points a day. 49 + 39 = 88 points. I can conceivably eat 88 points in one day on this plan. How can that be good? It can't.

From now on, I'm going to take part of those weekly points and have a treat mid week. Maybe a glass of wine, or a few cookies. I will deduct them from my weekly points and not save them for the end of the week. This really is going to be a challenge for me. I like to have those banked "just in case." At least that's what I tell myself. Just in case I "need" them. Well, when is that going to be? I am the one in control of my eating. I am the one who decides what I put into my mouth. Unless I know of a party coming up, when will I ever need an emergency 20 points?

One more thing I have come to realize this week is that I am using the baby as an excuse not to work out. There are plenty of women out there that have babies and work out. I have to figure out a way to do it and just do it. I'm not going to wake up one day and the baby will miraculously be on a wonderful schedule and I can work out at the same time each day. It's not going to happen. I will tell myself "The time to work out tomorrow is 2 pm" and that's the time I would work out. However, if the baby is screaming or something comes up and 2:30 rolls around, I will say "Oh well, I missed my time to work out" and I won't do it. How screwed up is that? I have to work on being more flexible. I have to be ready to work out whenever she falls asleep.

Lots of revelations this week, but most of all I think I've realized yet again that I am the one accountable for losing weight. I have to take charge and stop playing the victim. It took me years to get this weight and it's going to take time to get the weight off.