On Saturday I went to an open casting call for Extreme Weight Loss. It's a show that airs in the Summer and follows people for a year as they lose weight. I really didn't meet the requirements for the show because you have to need to lose at least half your body weight. I don't need to lose that much but thought maybe if they talked to me they waive that requirement. The other big reason I went is because I have a friend who needs to lose well over half her body weight and I knew I'd have to do it to get her to do it.
I arrived about 9:15 and filled out the application. As I was waiting there I was overcome with sadness. There were clearly people there who were over 500 pounds and desperately needed help. Some had canes and some couldn't even stand up in line because they were so heavy. At one point I thought "Why am I here? These people clearly need it more then I do."
As I was waiting they explained that they take people in groups of 5 and do group interviews. I didn't like that. I went in with people who were much bigger then me. There were 2 women in my group who were my same height and well over 300 pounds. I just think compared to them, they probably thought I didn't need to be on the show. Also, when you are answering questions with 4 other people, it's hard to stand out. I would have almost preferred 2 mins alone then 10 with 4 other people. I did not get a call back, so I guess I wasn't what they were looking for.
One thought that kept popping up in my mind was that I could do it on my own. I don't need a tv show to lose weight. I've done it before, and I can do it again. I woke up today without that big rush of motivation I feel when I start a new diet, but more like determination to just get it done. I'm not starting anything huge. I'm taking it one meal at a time. I was going to have toast with peanut butter this morning, but once I saw the calories peanut butter has in it, I chose a low cal cream cheese. Then for lunch I was going to have a left over piece of fried chicken but settled for grilled chicken. I wanted to work out so I walked in my treadmill for 35 mins.
I think it's going to be the little changes I make that add up to the big success. Most articles I read on weight loss stress making small, daily changes. That's what I'm going to do. I weighed myself this morning and I am at an all time high as far as my weight goes. I've got to stop and I've got to stop now. I simply can't afford to gain anymore weight. I will start suffering severe medical issues if I keep gaining weight. I'm 45 now. I can't possibly be this weight and age and not have medical issues because of my weight.
I think I'm at a point where I've realized that I just can't keep going like this. I need to stop making excuses and just start somewhere. I've been doing nothing now for a year and I've gained back all the weight that I lost. I just can't keep going on like this. It's time to start making the changes to live a long and healthy life. I guess today's just as good as any other day to start losing weight.