Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I really need to get back to updating this blog on a regular basis. I know not many people read it, but it's cathartic for me to get my feelings out.

I'm going to start with something not related to my diet at all. I spent the last weekend in Lily Dale, NY. It's a town full of psychic mediums that talk to dead people. I know it's pretty "out there" but the weekend was awesome. I met my BFF who lives in a different state and was able to have a kid free, husband free weekend. Boy did I need that.

Whether I believe in psychics or not, I did realize that at the very least they can give some very good advice. I was told by 2 different psychics that it's time to let go of some things I've been holding onto for years. I'm talking 30 years here, so some pretty big stuff.  I know to be able to live a healthy life I need to let go of some of the anger and other emotions from my childhood but I just don't know how to do it yet. I need to think about it and figure it out.

I guess this really is related to weight loss because I know that some of these issues are probably contributing to me being overweight today. For instance, my dad left when I was very young and pretty much abandoned me. I know I've always felt scared that other people will do the same so I never really trust people 100% because of that. I think that if I keep the weight on, it's kind of like a shield between me and other people as a protection I have built around me. This is just one example of what I've been thinking about these last few days.

I have a lot to work on both emotionally and physically. As far as how my diet is going right now, I've put on 4 pounds. Over the course of a month, over the summer, with both kids home, I don't think that's horrible. We are on the go each and every day. Some days it's hard to plan meals ahead of time and I have just gone through a drive through and gotten whatever the kids want. However, I do know that I don't take that decision lightly anymore and really think about the best option. I don't mindlessly order a double cheeseburger and chalk it up to busyness.

One thing that I've gotten away from doing that I need to do again is to start journaling my food intake. At least then I will know what I am consuming and can make informed choices. For instance, yesterday I had a burrito from Taco Bell. It's their new Cantina menu. I was thinking about 500 calories, but when I got home and actually looked it up, it was 730 calories! I would have NEVER gotten that had I known that. I need to make sure I have all the information before I order food.

I am slowly getting back to going to the gym again. I got out of the habit of working out since I went on a few trips, but now I'm back. School starts for my oldest in 2 weeks so I will get back into a routine of planning meals and working out. She will be in school all day now so I have no more excuses.

I'll write more about my readings and what I was told would happen in my life. For now, I have a poopy diaper to change. Lucky me!