I've been doing pretty well. I have my OB appointment in a week and a half and I've only gained 2 pounds this month. Lately I've just been eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. Hmmm, why can't I do that all the time?

The one thing I've been reading lately is to eat smaller meals throughout the day. I haven't been doing that. I've been eating one really big meal for lunch and a light snack for dinner. It seems to be working for me. I know in other countries they have their main meal at lunch and supposedly it's supposed to be healthier. I can tell you that so far, for me it's true.

This is going to be a tough week for me. I'm leaving town on Wednesday to go to PA to visit my BFF. The one thing we have consistently had in common is that we struggle with our weight and eat whatever we want when we are together. I don't know how we got into this "rut" but it has defined our relationship. I love her, she's like a sister to me. She has always supported me in my weight loss efforts and I've supported her. But, when we get together we seem to have a "f*ck it" attitude and try our best to pig out. I have no idea why we do this.

If I can't control what I eat I will try to control how much of it I eat. Luckily I can't eat as much in one sitting because the baby is getting so big. I'm really going to try to not pig out the whole time I am gone. I'm going to be more conscious of what I put in my mouth.

One of the "joys" of pregnancy I forgot about is leg cramps. For those of you who have never had them, I hope you never do. About 6 am on Friday morning I was woken up by a leg cramp. The most intense pain I think I have ever felt, and I've had a baby. It usually only lasts for maybe 45 seconds (I am lucky in that they don't last longer) but it is 45 seconds of pure hell. My leg has been sore since then. It has slowly but surely gotten better. It feels about 90% better today. It felt good enough to go to the gym and walk, but if I keep getting these periodically, it's going to seriously impact my work out routine.

Have a safe and healthy July 4th weekend and don't eat too much!!!

It is nice to report that I've been happy with my progress lately. My daughter had THREE birthday parties to attend over the past weekend. She's at the age where I still have to stay with her for these parties. I ate about 4-5 cupcakes/pieces of cake over the course of the weekend. However, I have managed to work out. Because of that, I have only gained a half a pound over this past week. I've ramped up my work out and it's paying off.

I will be happy as long as I can maintain a slow weight gain or if I'm really lucky, no weight gain at all. I've only got 18 more weeks to go until the baby is due. I can hardly believe it. It feels like just yesterday that I was nauseas and finding out that I am pregnant. Time flies!

I've also been trying to work on my negative self talk. I see and hear other people doing it all the time. Especially when I am giving them a compliment. 100% of the time they say "No, that's not true" or "I sure don't feel that way" etc. WHY is it so hard for people to just say "Thank you. I feel great too" or something along those lines. I saw a friend today that has been dieting for a long time and she looked great. I told her so and she immediately said "Yeah well, I haven't been losing anymore weight" I'm going to work on saying "Thank you" when people give me a compliment. I'm going to try to believe it when people say nice things to me. Instead of going immediately to the negative, I'm going to try to go to the positive.

I'm also going to work on giving myself compliments. I am always telling myself how bad I look or how I don't do enough in pretty much every area of my life. I'm a good mom. I'm a good wife. Yeah, my house is not always spotless, but part of being a good mom is telling myself that the dishes or vacuuming can wait while I play with my daughter instead of clean.

Even though the week is half over, my goal is to give myself at least 3 compliments a day and appreciate myself a little bit more. Maybe if I start liking myself more I will want to take care of myself and dieting and exercising will come easier to me.

I worked out 3 times this week. That was my goal and I did it. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I could have done more. My stomach really hurt for a few days there after I had the food poisoning, so I did what I could do and I'm proud of that.

Last night we ordered Chinese food and I came to a realization today when I woke up feeling like crap. I am so focused on eating foods that are lower in points or low in fat, that I'm not concentrating enough on eating healthy foods. I need to start eating cleaner foods. I need to start eating whole grains and fruits and veggies. If I concentrated more on eating healthy foods, the weight loss will follow.

I've been able to keep my portion sizes to a smaller size and I know the other basics of losing weight. This should be a no brainer for me. However, after all these years of dieting, there are lots of "shoulds" in my past. I should be at my goal by now. I should not have such a problem losing the weight. I've got the knowledge of how to do it for the most part. Now I just have to figure out why I'm not implementing that knowledge.

I was reading a book about autism and babies written by Jenny McCarthy. Without going into too much detail, it was kind of depressing and overwhelming. According to her I have already screwed up my unborn baby. I've eaten the wrong things, used the wrong products, even purchased the wrong furniture for my house! It scared me. It is very overwhelming and I don't know where to start. I think step #1 should be to clean up my diet. Less processed foods and more whole foods.

Maybe if I do this I will feel less sick all the time. It's not a nauseous feeling, it's feeling like a car that's running on crappy fuel. I'm not eating for nutrition anymore. I'm eating because of boredom, laziness and cravings. This has got to stop.

I guess the first place to go tomorrow is either Trader Joes or Whole Foods. We are lucky enough to have both within about a half an hour from my house.

My goals for this coming week are to work out at least 3 times and to clean up my diet so I'm eating more nutritious foods. Not lower in fat or calories, but higher in nutrition. Wish me luck!

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I didn't gain any weight over this past Holiday weekend. The bad news is that I got a mild case of food poisoning and didn't eat much at all yesterday. I have a feeling that is what helped me not to gain weight.

Food poisoning is not fun to have when you are not pregnant, but when you are pregnant it can be a little scary. You get waves of pain in your stomach that feel like contractions. But, your stomach doesn't tighten up with food poisoning, it just hurts. I kept getting these waves of pain and half way through the day I started wondering if I was going into labor. Not a rational thought, but it was there freaking me out. I feel better today but still not 100%.

And, because it was pretty mild I was able to go to the gym yesterday. Not a great workout, but I moved my body for 45 minutes, 15 on the bike and 30 on the treadmill. I felt proud of myself although I know I didn't get my heart rate up very much.

My goal for June is to work out at least 3 times a week and to start doing my pre natal yoga DVD at least once a week. More if I like it. I just haven't taken the time to actually try it yet.

This week is my 20th week so I'm officially half way through this pregnancy. It seems like just yesterday I was freaking out because I found out I was pregnant. At least now I'm freaking out about what to do with 2 kids and not about how much weight I'll gain. I'm kind of over that feeling now. There are days when I'm so good and have done everything and the scale still goes up. It's going to do that. I'm growing a baby. There is some relief in knowing that it's out of my hands somewhat. I'm not saying I can eat ice cream all day long and just shrug and say there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just saying that even doing my absolute best with eating and exercise will not help me to lose weight because for once in my life, that is not the goal. It feels good to obsess about other things for now and not my weight.