I worked out 3 times this week. That was my goal and I did it. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I could have done more. My stomach really hurt for a few days there after I had the food poisoning, so I did what I could do and I'm proud of that.

Last night we ordered Chinese food and I came to a realization today when I woke up feeling like crap. I am so focused on eating foods that are lower in points or low in fat, that I'm not concentrating enough on eating healthy foods. I need to start eating cleaner foods. I need to start eating whole grains and fruits and veggies. If I concentrated more on eating healthy foods, the weight loss will follow.

I've been able to keep my portion sizes to a smaller size and I know the other basics of losing weight. This should be a no brainer for me. However, after all these years of dieting, there are lots of "shoulds" in my past. I should be at my goal by now. I should not have such a problem losing the weight. I've got the knowledge of how to do it for the most part. Now I just have to figure out why I'm not implementing that knowledge.

I was reading a book about autism and babies written by Jenny McCarthy. Without going into too much detail, it was kind of depressing and overwhelming. According to her I have already screwed up my unborn baby. I've eaten the wrong things, used the wrong products, even purchased the wrong furniture for my house! It scared me. It is very overwhelming and I don't know where to start. I think step #1 should be to clean up my diet. Less processed foods and more whole foods.

Maybe if I do this I will feel less sick all the time. It's not a nauseous feeling, it's feeling like a car that's running on crappy fuel. I'm not eating for nutrition anymore. I'm eating because of boredom, laziness and cravings. This has got to stop.

I guess the first place to go tomorrow is either Trader Joes or Whole Foods. We are lucky enough to have both within about a half an hour from my house.

My goals for this coming week are to work out at least 3 times and to clean up my diet so I'm eating more nutritious foods. Not lower in fat or calories, but higher in nutrition. Wish me luck!