I haven't posted in a long time. I haven't posted in a long time because I'm not doing well with losing weight. I want to write that I'm doing fantastic and I'm at goal and life is wonderful. That's just not the case.
I've had a lot of changes in my life, the biggest one being I've gone back to work. I really fell into this position and I love it. Because I've been working I haven't made time to get to the gym. Once a week at the most. My 3 year old actually likes the new gym and now I'm the one who doesn't make the time to go. Last week I worked 4 days but this week I'm only working 3 so I should get there at least one day. Now that I am working all day, I've got to use my days off to get things done I can't get done because I'm working. I am SO thankful that I don't "need" this job for the money. It's great having the extra cash, but we don't need me to work to pay our mortgage. I just don't understand how women do it full time with kids. I haven't been able to manage everything. My house is always a mess which stresses me out.
My 3 year old does not like going to a babysitter. She cries every time I drop her off. When I question her, she can't give me any specifics as to why she hates it so much, but I'm guessing it's because she has to get up so early to go. This kid sleeps until 10. I get her up at 7:45 now and she's not very happy about it. So, Every day I drop her off I leave feeling guilty about going to work.
As far as eating goes, I've been horrible. I've gained 17 pounds this year. I've just given up and I can't figure out why. I don't even know what else to say about that.
My Church is doing this experiment this week. For the whole week, we are eating only rice and beans. SO many children and adults in third world countries only get beans and rice for their meals, if they are lucky. I think the whole thinking behind it is we can't really be part of the solution without really understanding and identifying with the problem. So I will eat beans and rice for a week and take all the money I'm saving not going out to eat and getting coffee drinks and donating that to the Church.
Today was day #1 of beans and rice and I survived. Tonight has been tough because I can't eat dessert or anything sweet. Since Halloween I've eaten WAY too much candy. I need to break myself of the habit and this is a good way to do it.
I will try to update more. I just want to be in a good place when I write and I haven't been lately. I did meet a contestant from the Biggest Loser over the weekend and I will write about that another day. It was inspiring though, but a little disheartening to see that she had gained weight back. But she still looked very good.
I won't let another few months go by before writing again. It does help me sort some of my feelings out in my head as I'm writing so I know it helps. I've just been in a rotten place lately, but I feel as if I might be coming out of it, slowly but surely.