I feel like I'm back on track today. I've already had a healthy breakfast and I'm going to the gym in a little bit.

This is going to sound silly, but I think my funk had to do with a book I was reading. I've been reading it for about a month. It's a great fiction novel about 2 friends who grow up together and are BFF's for life. Sounds great, right? ( I should also throw in there that I take my books with me when I go to the gym. I work out for an hour and read for the other hour my daughter gets in the daycare. I get 2 hours total a day and I try to take advantage of both hours) I've been reading this book for about a month now since I only get a few hours a day to read. When I read a book, I kind of fall into the world I am reading about. I really like to read (Twilight- YES. Harry Potter- Oh Yes) So, I'm reading this book, everything is great. Then, suddenly one of the main characters that I totally identify with gets an aggressive form of breast cancer and is dying! WTF?!?!?!? She has kids and dies! This is where I have to say that this is my biggest fear in life. My mom died when I was 13 and she was 44. (BTW, I am 41 now) Dying didn't scare me as much until I had my own baby. I am terrified of dying young and leaving her without a mom.

If I would have known this book was going to end this way, I would have never read it. Who wants to read a fiction book about something that is your biggest fear? So, I cried most of the day on Sunday because I had time to read and finish the book. Then I start thinking about what I would say to my daughter if I was dying and my husband and oh, it just went downhill from there......

Then I get up yesterday and I was up THREE fricken' pounds on the scale! HOW THE F*CK DOES THAT HAPPEN?? Is it even possible to gain THREE pounds in 2 days?!??!?!?

But, I am leaving that in the past. I am healthy and I will not die early and I will see my daughter have babies. At least that is what I am telling myself today so I will get my butt to the gym and have a healthy, long life.