Today is kind of a sad day for me. Not that I was a big Michael Jackson fan, because I really wasn't. He was a part of my childhood and it's always sad when a part of that dies. The world feels a little different to me today. I'm sure this feeling will pass, but it's just strange. I could see if I was a true fan and had all his albums, but I'm not and I don't. I guess I just feel sad for a 50 year old man who dies leaving behind 3 kids. Like him or not, it's sad.

Which makes me glad that I'm really trying to be healthy and lose weight. I can do something about weight. Geez, compared to other people's problems, losing weight should be a no brainer right? Farrah Fawcett didn't have a choice in getting cancer. Even Michael Jackson might not have had a choice if he got an overdoes of Demerol from his doctor, (just read that, not sure if it's true or not.) I HAVE the choice. I can choose to go eat cookies or broccoli. I have the choice of whether I want to exercise today.

I know it's not easy. But, shouldn't it be easier than kicking a drug habit or beating cancer?

I quit smoking 9 years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My God, if I can quit smoking, I can do anything. Today I am choosing to be healthy. Today I am choosing to stick to a healthy eating plan. Today I am choosing to exercise.

I'm going to start making an effort to think about just today. Not the last time I was on a diet and failed. Not next week when I have some things scheduled so it might make it hard to stick to my diet and exercise plan. Just "now." Just today.

I try to walk on my treadmill for 45-50 minutes. When I first start, I don't think "Gee, I'm going to be on this thing for almost an hour." I think "hmmm, can I do the whole hour? Maybe not, but I can do 10 mins." Then after the first 10 mins is up, I think "Can I do 10 more?" I break it down into little chunks. I find it easier that way. Just like losing weight. I have about 50 more pounds to lose. Can I lose 50 pounds? I'm not sure about that. Can I lost another 5? Yes, no question about it. So, I'm going to lose the 5 and reevaluate and ask myself if I can lose just another 5. I think the all or nothing mentality can be the recipe for disaster to any exercise and diet plan. I have to stop thinking about the big picture and break things down into manageable chunks.

I realize I was kind of all over the board today, but that is how my mood is. I had my whole day planned and due to the storms last night, my whole day has changed and it's strange for me to have a whole day with nothing to do. I'm not used to that. I usually have my time planned out pretty well. Anyway, I don't think anyone is reading this blog anyway, but it's helping me stay on track. I also have the freedom to write whatever I want which feels really great, actually.

RIP Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. You will be missed and remembered often!