Saturday, April 6, 2013

Do you ever read a blog and someone is going to announce something or share something and then you don't hear from them for a while? In my experience, that means bad news. Whatever they were going to share or the results they wanted were not good and so they didn't share for a while. That's also the case with me.

I pulled out the scale and was so excited to get on it on Friday morning. My hope was 7 pounds. Of course I was unrealistically expecting more, but I decided that if I lost 7 I would be satisfied. I get on the scale and....... TWO fricken' pounds. TWO! I was shocked. I was disappointed and I was sad.

Then I thought about it. If I am REALLY honest with myself, I haven't done well for 3 weeks now. Ever since I got that flu I have kind of been off track and not giving 100%. Once I left town I was downright horrible and then I got sick, and even though I'm not eating a lot, I am eating comfort foods to "make me feel better." Yeah right.

If I had to guess, I was probably doing ok but then when I went on the trip I went totally overboard and probably gained 5 pounds back. I could have easily done that with the eating I did. After thinking about it, I should be glad I lost anything.

On a positive note, seeing that 2 didn't send me back to bed in the fetal position. It made me realize that I just need to get back on track. I have NOT gone back to my old habits because I was starving yesterday while out running errands and I didn't go through McDonalds drive thru and get a double cheeseburger. I will admit, I was in line and would probably have gotten one if there wasn't 3 cars ahead of me taking forever. I just thought about it and do not want to go back to that place where I was eating alone, in my car while driving so nobody knew what I was doing.  For some reason, that was the line I wouldn't cross so I drove home and made healthy food.

I think somewhere in my mind I knew it couldn't be that good because any other time this would have sent me into an eating frenzy. I would just give up "until Monday" and start again. I haven't done that this time. I'm just making better choices and on Monday I will go back to the gym. I'm still coughing a lot so 2 more days should be enough where I can work out without coughing my head off.

I still do feel a little sad that I haven't made more progress. What I don't understand is why my clothes are getting baggy. 2 pounds won't do that. I just can't dwell on it. I have to move forward and continue to do my best. I need to stop doing this half way and just go for it to lose this weight once and for all.

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