I seriously cannot believe it has been over six months since I have written anything. I think about it a lot, but then never get around to it.
Over the past year I have lost 35 pounds and for the most part kept it off. I still have another 50 to go, but I keep telling myself that I have lost weight and kept it off. It's not coming off nearly as fast as I thought it would, but I have to realize that I haven't gained any weight in a year. That's something to celebrate.
To say there are times when I am seriously struggling would be an understatement. However, I am very happy that I haven't given up. I also know that my thinking has finally changed. I don't eat and eat and eat without thinking about what I am doing. If I have a bad day, I get right back on track the next day.
I also did something that I said I wouldn't do. Four weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers. I just couldn't seem to lose anymore weight and I was stuck for months. There is nothing more frustrating then thinking you are doing everything right and not seeing a smaller number on the scale. There were many days when I just wanted to give up and I'd think "I just want to stay fat. It's so much easier." I never gave into that for more then a few hours, but the thought is there.
Before joining WW I gained about 5 pounds of the 35 I lost. In the first 2 weeks of WW I lost that 5 pounds and then some. However, since then I have been on 2 weekend trips that have really screwed me up. I can't seem to control my eating when I'm not in the safe bubble of my own home.
My plan is to get back on track and track everything that I put into my mouth. I will start that tomorrow and keep doing it. I find that I am successful when I actually look up and track the points of everything. I love the ap where I can scan my foods and they automatically track them for me.
I just want to lose this weight and figure out how to maintain the loss. I think about all the years I said "This will be the year I lose the weight for good." I'm sick and tired of doing that. I finally think that mentally I am in that place where I can actually do it. I've been going to the gym at least 3-4 times a week. Now I just need to get my eating under control the majority of the time. I SO want to be in onderland. I haven't been there in years and it's my first big goal.
If anyone is still reading this, I will start writing more often. It helps me to write out what's going on. With 2 kids it's hard to do it, but I have to make it a priority.