I am very happy to report that I am back on track....again. I hesitate to say that because geez, how many times can I get "back on track?" I get tired of hearing myself say that.

Last week I met with the trainer at the gym for my first session. It really turned out to be a nutrition lesson, which I badly needed. I found out I was doing a few things wrong, that I thought were actually healthy. It just so happened that the day I had the training, the gym was offering a free seminar on carbs, so I went to that as well. Wow, those guys do not like carbs! I don't know that I can go as far as they want people to go (only one serving of "bad" carbs a day) but I did realize that I eat way too many carbs. I also eat them at the wrong time of day.

One thing I liked to do was eat some fruit before working out. Turns out that is not a good time to eat fruit. If you eat fruit before working out, your body burns off the sugar from the fruit during your work out instead of fat. I want to teach my body to burn fat so I should eat protein before working out. These guys said people should not eat carbs for breakfast or lunch. If you have to eat the "bad carbs" (i.e. rice, potatoes etc) eat one serving with dinner.

I also committed to my trainer that I would work out 5 days a week. Today is Thursday and so far I have stayed true to my commitment. I've kind of figured out how to get most of what I need to get done while the baby is up and then work out while she is napping. My struggle right now is that my treadmill is dying. I need a new one and I need to find one that will fit through the opening to our basement. My house is built so the doorway to the basement faces a wall. That makes it very difficult to move bigger objects into out basement. We are going to go look at one today and hopefully it will work.

I think it's finally starting to sink into my head that this will be a struggle for the rest of my life. I've always kind of hoped that I would lose the weight and be done with it. That's not gonna happen. So right now I am focusing on taking this one day at a time. When I start to look too far into the future, I stop myself and focus on today.

The trainer and I decided that we will meet again in a couple of week. She told me that I cannot exercise away a bad diet. I need to get my diet under control and then we will meet again and she will give me a work out tailored to me. That will also give me time to get the baby into the daycare in the gym. We have both been sick for over a week now so I haven't been able to take her. Hopefully next week we can go and I can start getting her used to it.

The final thing I will comment on is in talking with the trainer, I was embarrassed at how many excuses I rely on to get out of being healthy. Reasons why I can't eat healthy and reasons why I can't work out. She didn't want to come out and say it but I finally had to, that they are excuses and not valid reasons for not being healthy. I am working on not telling myself these excuses and believing them. I have to do this for me. I have to get healthy for my kids. I don't want to leave them like my mom left me. I have to be here for them and help them raise their kids. I can do this!!