In limbo

I'm kind of in limbo right now as far as my diet goes. I'm tracking my food but I'm not really on a "diet." I don't know what my problem is. That no carb diet just really put me off diets in general.

I read a lot of blogs about food and dieting and it's really depressing how just about everyone has their ups and downs. Mainly downs lately. I wonder if it's the weather or what, but nobody is doing great. Maybe it's that everyone is busy right now and just doesn't have the time. I know I keep thinking that "tomorrow" or "Monday" things will fall into place. It's not happening though.

I don't really have much to say, I'm just floundering right now and I'm not sure what to do with it. It's hard to muster up the enthusiasm or motivation to do anything at this point and I'm not sure why.

Well, I blew it. Not totally, and I actually don't feel bad about it at all, but I stopped the no carb diet today. I was supposed to go through Monday, but I stopped today. I stopped because I felt physically ill today. Not in a crabby, whiney way. But I felt nauseous and sick all morning. I couldn't tolerate another egg. I am not a fan of eggs anyway, but eggs are all I've been eating for breakfast for 11 days. I really struggled with this over the past few days. I have been miserable and crabby. I have no idea why week #1 was easier, but it was.

I wanted to quit 3 days ago. I was ready to kill someone. But, I stuck with it and pushed through all those feelings. Today was different though. Today was a physical feeling, not emotional. I knew that this wasn't working for me anymore. I've lost a total of 5 pounds and I can't see me losing another 5 over the next 3 days.

My friend told me that I shouldn't feel sick when trying to get healthy. I should feel good and energized. At least physically. I know dieting isn't easy, but she's right. I should feel better physically, especially after 11 days. I feel good about my decision to stop. I gave it a lot of thought and didn't want to blow my whole weekend feeling bad.

Back to the drawing board. I did learn a few things from doing this. One is that I do an awful lot of mindless munching. When I get my daughter chips, I pop one in my mouth. I grab handfuls of various foods here and there that I don't need. Another thing is I realized that I don't *need* carbs, especially the candy variety. I haven't had anything sweet in 11 days and I missed fruit the most. I ate a banana today and it tasted so good! So I will be limiting my intake of desserts from now on. I've actually gone days without the sugar free variety simply because I forgot to eat them. I haven't proven that I don't need a fourth meal each day called "Dessert."

I'm going to continue eating healthy this weekend and either starting the old WW program or counting calories on Monday. Keeping track of what I eat does work as long as I DO IT. I need to start measuring things, like coffee cream and counting out chips. I would much rather do that then give up all carbs again.

I know I stopped early for the right reasons. I have been giving this a lot of thought and I don't feel like I have in the past when I've given up on various diets. I think that I gave up for the right reasons and I'm not going to go out and binge this weekend. I'm not giving up on losing weight. I'm just giving up on losing weight by not eating any carbs.

I am also happy to report that I worked out today. I have realized that working out must be a part of my whole effort to lose weight. I got about 28 minutes in before the baby started crying. I have to try each day. I might get 20 mins one day and 45 the next. Even if I only get 20 it's something and I can always continue after my husband gets home from work and do another 20 mins. I have to figure out how to do it and again, I'd rather bust my a$$ working out then giving up carbs. Yes, it was THAT hard!

One last thing. I'm getting an iPad 2 today and couldn't be more excited! I've wanted one for a while but my husband wanted to wait until the "second generation" came out. He's on his way to the Apple store now to wait in line to get it. This weekend is going to be fun playing with that and working out each day. I feel good right now, much better than I've felt for the last 2 weeks.

Have a great weekend and please keep the people that were affected by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan in your prayers! As much as I complain about being overweight, I am safe, my family is safe and I am pretty damn thankful for everything that I have!

Day #4 of Phase 1 of South Beach

I really can't believe this. I'm waiting for some kind of withdrawal. I'm having NO withdrawals at all. Either my body has stored up so much sugar it's still burning it (LOL) or I wasn't as addicted to sugar as I though. I was eating a lot of sugar though. Not only candy and sweets, but breads and other "bad" carbs.

This diet is not "hard." It's only more time consuming because I actually have to make my meals. No drive thru's or processed foods. I'm not used to making all my meals and that took some adjustment.

And now for the big news..... I am down 3.5 pounds since Tuesday! Yep, I am SO HAPPY about this. This is the kind of results I wanted from WW. I realize this won't continue on a daily basis. Eventually my weight loss will slow down. But, with the radical changes I've made cutting out carbs, I expected big results and so far I'm getting them. Seeing the numbers go down on the scale makes it easier to follow this diet.

The weekend might be tougher because my husband will be home, but so far he's been eating whatever I give him. He hasn't complained about not eating carbs at home. I have a feeling he's been stocking up on them all day at work, but he doesn't really have any weight to lose. I told him not to tell me if he does lose weight. I will be pissed if he loses 15 lbs just from eating healthier dinners. Men are like that. They just think about losing weight and drop 5 lbs.

Today is a good day and I'm looking forward to seeing the numbers continue to plummet on the scale. I am ONE pound away from my pre pregnancy weight. I should be there by Monday!

Day #1 of Phase #1 of the South Beach diet

Well, it's almost bedtime and I have survived day 1 with no carbs. This diet is a "low carb" and low fat diet, but the first phase is basically no carbs.

It was about 1:00 I realized how much mindless eating I have been doing. Because I was restraining myself today, I didn't just pick little things up and put it in my mouth. I really didn't think I did that. I know I ate when I wasn't hungry, but I didn't realize just how much mindless eating I was doing.

I also hit a snag about lunch time. I let myself get too hungry and was afraid to eat because I wasn't sure what I could eat. The "letting myself get too hungry" was because I hadn't gone to the fruit market yet and didn't have the vegetables to make lunch. Then when I got home the baby needed to be fed so I had to wait. Because of this I felt weak, but I ate my salad with tuna and felt somewhat better. About 20 mins later I still felt hungry so I had a stick of celery with some Laughing Cow cheese and a handful of cashews. After that I felt much better.

I haven't been having a strong desire for carbs. Sure, I'd love a cookie that I have in the kitchen, but I'm not going to do it. I wish I could clean my house out of the sweets, but I do have a 5 year old and a husband that aren't fat. I really thought I'd be a big crab ass by this time of day #1, but I'm not.

Today is March 1. I was supposed to go to the gym and get my membership back. I'm still nervous taking the baby there, but I really shouldn't put it off any longer. She will get used to it. Today I felt too weak to work out. (Yea, another excuse but this one is really true) I think after a few days of getting used to this diet, I will be able to work out.

One thing I can already tell is that once I can go back to eating carbs, I'm going to choose the "good" ones. I have a feeling I will be able to have a piece of fruit to satisfy my craving for sweets instead of a cookie. Right now a strawberry would taste just as good to me as a piece of candy. That's progress!!

Well, my experiment was a total flop. I ended up gaining a pound. A friend told me the plan to eat when you are hungry and stop when full makes sense when you are maintaining, but to lose you need to diet. I guess she's right although I hate to admit it.

I've known for a while that I am addicted to carbs. I crave sweet things. I don't really "binge" but when I overindulge, it's with sweets. And by overindulge, I will eat 3 or 4 pieces of candy instead of one or two. I'm not one to sit down and eat a whole box of anything. I eat when I'm bored and I overeat when I let myself get too hungry.

I'm saying all of this because on Monday (famous last words) I'm going to start the South Beach diet. I've done it before, a few years ago. I re-read the introduction and it sounds like the diet for me. Here is what it says for Phase 1:

"Phase 1 is for people who have a substantial amount of weight to lose or who experience significant cravings for sugar and refined starches. During this phase, you'll jump start your weight loss and stabilize your blood sugar levels to minimize cravings by eating a diet rich in healthy lean protein (fish, chicken and lean cuts of beef), vegetables, nuts, reduced fat cheese, eggs, low fat dairy, and good unsaturated fats, such as extra virgin olive oil. You'll enjoy three satisfying meals a day, plus at least 2 snacks, and you'll even be able to have some desserts. What you won't be eating are starches (bread, pasta, and rice) or sugar (including fruit and fruit juices). While this may be hard at first, remember that in just 2 weeks you'll be adding many of these foods back into your life. Exercise during all phases is important to your overall health and will improve your results."

This sounds like exactly the type of plan I need. I'm a sugar addict and I need to break my addiction. Especially since I have such a high risk of diabetes in the future, if I don't have it already.

Something very strange is happening. Last week I stopped keeping track of my food. It began innocently enough. I had no time and I wasn't doing it on purpose. One day turned into two and two into three. You know how that goes. Then on Thursday I weighed myself and was at my lowest weight yet (since the baby was born.) I was shocked. Just watching what I ate and not stressing about it was working. I was ecstatic and surprised. Since then I have stopped keeping track. I'm not obsessing about everything I'm putting in my mouth. I am making good choices and stopping when I'm full.

Yesterday and today have been a little challenging because I feel hungrier for some reason. I'm snacking a little bit more and feel hungrier. I made ribs over the weekend and know that I had to have gained so I've decided to wait until Thursday to weigh myself again. I'm going to see if this is still working or if that was a fluke. I would really love to report that it's working and I'm going to stop thinking about everything I eat constantly. I'm just getting tired of worrying about it. I can't see living the rest of my life like this. I have to learn to control how much I eat and try to eat healthy most of the time. That's the bottom line.

Another thing I need to report is I exercised yesterday! I tried the Zumba for the Wii and I played some Just Dance 2. I HATE dancing. I hate dancing because I am not good at it. However, in the privacy of my own home and with nobody watching, it's FUN! Especially when I can dance to songs I know. The Zumba was hard. It was work. I don't think it's as fun as everyone says it is, but it beats a "regular" work out. It's something different which is always good I think. It's not something I'll do on a daily basis, but I know I worked hard for those 20 mins I did the intermediate work out. I will continue to do it.

I will report back on Thursday to say if my new "plan" is working. I really hope it does.

I am really doing well on my calorie counting diet. I've lost 7 pounds so far since Jan 1. I wish it were more, but it is what it is.

I just keep thinking about how easy it is to count calories. I don't have to pull out a calculator and figure out if I can eat something. For the most part, most of the things I eat have the calorie count on the package or I can easily figure it out.

I may have found my solution for exercise. My friend was over the other day and she brought her Just Dance 2 game for the Wii. We put it in and played and it was really a good work out and it was FUN. I honestly have never thought working out would be so much fun, but it really was. As far as the baby goes, she sat in her chair and just watched us and thought it was the funniest thing. Today I ordered Just Dance 2 and Zumba for my Wii. Between the 2 of those I should be good to go. I'm really excited to get them and start working. I should also say, I am not a dancer. I don't like to dance in front of people. However, this is just so much fun! All of the "exercise" games I have don't really excite me.

I'm certainly not where I thought I'd be going into February, but I'm doing ok. My goal is to start my gym membership in March. Flu season should be pretty much over by then and the rust of new people starting Jan 1 will have thinned out. I just have to get through this month working out at home.

This week is going to be a challenge. My daughter turns 5 on Wednesday and we will have 2 separate cakes. On her actual birthday I am getting a Cinderella cake. The top part is an actual doll and the dress is the cake. I was really happy to find out that it only feeds 4 so I won't have cake hanging around the whole week. Then next Sunday we are having a party for her at a local bowling alley. For that party I ordered a cake that actually looks like a castle. 2 days of cake will not be good for my diet. I guess I need to cut back on the other days so I won't do as much damage. My goal for this week should be maintenance.

I have been really good with tracking my calories on my phone. I input everything I eat and usually stay around 1700 calories a day. Sparkpeople says I can eat 1900-2000, but I don't ever eat that much.

I just wanted to check in and report that I'm doing well. I don't have anything exciting to report unfortunately. Have a good week!