I am back from Tennessee and ready to get back on track. I gained 2 pounds while I was gone and fully expected that. We stayed at someone's house and apparently this person doesn't eat lunch. They eat breakfast and dinner. However, since we were in the "guest apartment" we never knew when they were actually making breakfast so we missed it everyday. We'd end up eating a bowl of cereal which did not hold me over until breakfast. The only reason I am bringing this up is because we ate out everyday for lunch. I didn't make great choices, although I didn't make awful ones either. Because of that I think I was holding water because of the sodium. I was up 4 pounds yesterday but lost 2 of this yesterday so I don't think it was an actual gain of 4 pounds.

I am a HUGE Dr Phil fan and yesterday on yesterday's show he was endorsing ANOTHER fricken' diet and exercise plan. Ugh. My first reaction was to go online and order it ASAP. But, I'm not going to do that. I am sick and tired of throwing money at my problem. I know what to do. I know how to do it. Ordering another diet and exercise plan isn't going to make me get off my butt and work out. I'm really struggling with this because I always have the newest plan out there. I have the books, or the Wii game or whatever it happens to be. I am not going to cave this time. The plan is $69 and that will buy me almost 2 months of WW.

My plan today is to work out in my basement when the baby goes down for her nap. Going to the gym is out of the question because last week she started a phase where she has to be by me at all times or she screams. This is a new and hopefully short lived phase. I won't even attempt to drop her off at the daycare at the gym because she won't last more than 5 minutes. I need to stop using her as an excuse to not work out. I can still get in a decent work out in my basement. I have a TON of work out DVD's as well as those Wii games I mentioned previously.

I've also realized that I need to come up with a concrete plan. I'm been just saying I'm going to start something and I do for a day or two but then blow it. I don't have a concrete plan to follow and I need that if I'm going to succeed. I'm going to work on that today too.

I feel like I'm back on track.. sort of. I need to take steps to be firmly back on track and feel confident and motivated. I'm back from my trip and it's time to get my butt moving. My fear is I will blow off December thinking that because of Christmas there is no way I can lose weight. However, Christmas is just one day. I don't have a lot of family so for me, it really is only a one day celebration. I need to stop making excuses and just go for it. My goal is to have lost weight this month.

PS- this is totally off subject but I'm SO excited to see Donny and Marie in Detroit on Thursday night. Yes, I'm a huge geek but I've always been a Donny fan and can't wait to see the show!

I really need to keep up with this blog. I know only a couple people read it and one of them I talk to on a pretty regular basis so I don't always think about updating. It doesn't mean I don't read other blogs still. I do, I just haven't had much motivation lately, so it's hard to update when you don't have anything good to say.

However, I finally have some motivation today. I got on the scale this morning and almost cried. I have gained 19 pounds since August. Wow. I am shocked and saddened that I have allowed myself to gain this weight. It made me realize that I think so much about losing that I don't think at all about maintenance. If I would have only maintained my weight I wouldn't be the weight I am today.

I know my laundry list of reasons why this has happened. I told myself today that I need to stop talking about it, stop complaining about it, stop all my damn planning and just DO something. Anything. I just got done walking on my treadmill for 40 minutes. That's something. My eating should be pretty good today. I need to stay away from the Halloween candy. That has been on major obstacle these past few weeks.

This weekend is going to be tough. We are going to Tennessee to stay with my sister in laws family. I don't know these people very well so I'm a little nervous. We also won't have a lot of control over what we eat. However, one good thing is there will be a woman there who is an avid runner and very healthy. I'm hoping to pick her brain and get some tips on getting in shape and motivated.

I'm going to start paying attention to maintenance. I don't want to reach Jan 1 and have another 20 pounds to lose. I am going to (at the very least) maintain over this holiday season. So while I don't have great news to report, I have woken up and realized I need to stop the madness.