January is almost over and I've done pretty well. This past week hasn't been go great, but week #3 of any "diet" is usually not great for me. Some people hate the word "diet." I am not one of them. I am being real and I am on a diet. We are all on diets and I don't necessarily think that a "diet" is a bad thing. For me it's a reminder that I am paying attention to what I eat and I'm not shoving food into my mouth without thinking about it.

I have been tracking my food for the last 3 weeks. I use the ap Lose It and I really love it. There are times when tracking isn't easy so I have to guess the calories, but I would estimate that I can track 80% of what I eat easily. For me, just knowing the calories content in some foods make it easier to not eat whatever it is. For example, I was eating sushi thinking it's a healthy, low calorie food. Ummm, I was wrong. From what I could find, one pieces (not roll- one piece) is between 75-100 calories EACH. Last week I ate 9 pieces for lunch. After lunch I looked up the calories and OMG. Needless to say I won't be eating that much sushi anytime soon. But that's what I mean about knowing the calorie count of foods.

I have also been working out at least 4 times a week for the last 3 weeks. I don't know why it's so hard for me to stay consistent with working out because I feel SO good after I do it. I have a heart rate monitor and watch so I know how many calories I burn with each work out.

I know that some people find it hard to track all their food and count calories, but for me it's the only way I can be honest with myself and know what I'm putting in my body. If I know a piece of candy is 50 calories and I eat 5 pieces, that's 250 calories I am ingesting. When I'm not tracking, I will easily fool myself and think "Oh, it's only a few pieces of candy, it can't be that bad." Even with the tracking I don't track everything so I am probably eating a few hundred calories over what I'm tracking.

I do notice my motivation is starting to fade. The first 2 weeks I was all gung ho and spot on with my food and exercise. Last week, not so much, and now I am sitting here trying to talk myself into working out. I wish this wasn't so hard for me. I wish the foods I eat weren't tied to my emotions. There are people in this world that use food to fuel their bodies and that's it. Wow. I would LOVE to be one of those people. I eat when I'm happy, sad, lonely and every emotion in between and I'm finding it hard to stop doing that. So far, I have resisted wanting to eat when my emotions come up, but if my motivation is fading I'm afraid my resolve to be good will start to fade also.

I really am trying to take it one day at a time and not look too far forward and not look back at all. I don't want to remember that my week last week wasn't great because I don't want those emotions tied to this week. I want to start fresh this week and kick some ass. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to kick ass and have a great week.  I hope you do too!

Happy New Year!

Here we are at the beginning of another year full of possibilities. Once again most of my goals or resolutions revolve around my weight. It's starting to feel a little "been there done that" but I guess the alternative is giving up and that just isn't going to happen.

Today is Jan 5 and today is the day I am starting once again to get healthy. It wasn't realistic for me to start on Jan 1. We had company in from out of town. Yesterday was my husbands birthday so I figured it would work out better to start today.

The thing is I have pretty much zero motivation to do this. I don't know why. I'm thinking it's because I've done it so many times before and haven't succeeded. It really is frustrating. The older I'm getting the harder carrying all this extra weight is on my body. My right knee is getting worse and worse. There are days when I'm walking around feeling like an 80 year old lady.

I think another reason I'm not feeling very motivated is because a few people I know who have lost HUGE amounts of weight have gained it all back and then some. Maybe in my mind I'm thinking even if I do pull this off, if they can't keep off the weight what makes me think I can? Most of the bloggers I read are having the same issue too. What is going on? Maybe I just need to look for more motivating things to get me going.

But, even after saying all of that, I did work out today and I am tracking my food. I hope that little steps will help me succeed and I think if I succeed, the motivation will come. I'm not going full force and feeling like I'm kicking ass and taking names. But, I'm doing something. Maybe a little bit of "somethings" each day will get me towards my goal.